Why do I eat too much cake?

We were intrigued recently when working with a teen who introduced herself as someone with anxiety. As coaches we have learned that curiosity is our friend and never to presume anything. We asked her, ‘ what’s anxiety?’ to which she answered, ‘ I don’t really know.’

This blew our sisterly minds! 

Part of the problem that we see in our work is our collective lack of understanding of emotions and emotional health. When we were kids back in the dark ages (as our kids say) no one really spoke about emotions. And if they did it was usually in a negative way. We might hear someone say, ‘ she’s too emotional.’ Now mental and physical health are spoken about more, but emotional health seems to still be largely overlooked. 

For us, emotional health is about being able to acknowledge how we feel, accept the feeling and be able to process it. As an example, if we were to have the feeling of sadness, we would feel it in our body, accept it in our minds,  we might express it to another (I feel really sad) and allow/ process it  knowing it will pass. We are not pushing it away or trying to change it. We understand that it’s a feeling that will pass. 

If we are not able to do this all sorts of problems may occur. As an example, we have the emotion of sadness, we don’t know it’s there in our body, we feel uncomfortable, and we are unable to withstand the feeling and might attempt to shift the emotion by eating cake, drinking wine, shouting… well anything to get rid of the discomfort we  feel in our body. When we don’t process feelings, they can become personality traits. ‘ He’s an angry person’ or ‘ she’s a worrier.’ And more importantly, now we know that they can affect our health. Psychoneuroimmunology is the link between emotions, the body’s central nervous system and our immune systems.

We are on a mission to help children understand their emotions so that they can thrive and access better health outcomes. If you have a child who displays signs of anxiety, perhaps ask them what they mean. Where do they feel it in their body? Why has it come now? What can we do to let the anxiety pass through our body and not hold onto it? Acknowledging feelings allows them to pass.

Emma & Laura